Knockout Meets The Wal-Mart Parking Lot
by DragonScouter
Summary: A trip to Wal-Mart turns into quiet the adventure for Pandimala and Knockout. My first attempt at a funny kind of story. WARNING: There is human cussing in this. Not sure if this warning is needed, but I would rather be safe than sorry. Oh, and this is rated T because I am paranoid. ENJOY!


**Disclaimer: I only own my OCs.**

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**Authoress: I hit a cart with my car the other day when I was at Wal-Mart and, with the spin off to Power of One in my head, this little beauty came to life. **

**Knockout: I'm worried.**

**Pandimala: Me too.**

**Authoress: You should be. Oh, and there is human cussing in here, just to warn.**

**Pandimala: Why should they? They read about me and the others cussing in Cybetronian all the time.**

**Authoress: Just covering my tracks.**

**Knockout: *sarcastic* Well, someone is paranoid.**

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Knockout Meets The Wal-Mart Parking Lot

"Why do I have to go with again dear?" Knockout asked me for the hundredth time since we had left the NEST base on Earth in his alt mode.

It had been about one stellar cycle since I had returned from the Well and I wanted to go shopping for some stuff for Raf's birthday party. _Surprise_ birthday party. That was one of the reasons that I needed Knockout with me now. It would look suspicious if I went out by myself without Knockout. But, since he would be with me, it wouldn't look so strange.

"Because," I started, "I don't have a regular car mode that is normally seen in big towns...or in small ones for that matter. Don't you want to spend more time with me?" Yeah, I was laying it on thick, but I really didn't like shopping alone. It was different than having someone there to talk with you while you shopped.

His soliform was ready to placate me. "Of course dear. I wasn't implying that I didn't. This will be a quick shopping stop...right?"

I let out a laugh at that as we pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot. "Of course dear. You watch _way_ too much television for your own good. I try to get done with shopping as quickly as possible so I can go and spend the time with people who I care about."

"That includes me...right 'Mala?" He asked as he parked and the two of us got out of his alt mode.

Rolling my eyes and laughing, I said, "Of course it does Knockout, you are my bondmate remember?" I then paused before adding, "Just remember that while we are in here, I am your wife and our names are Kalan and Lizzie Val. We have to keep the alien stuff on the down-low. Alright? Even if someone makes a comment." I gave him a pointed look after that.

And with good reason. The last time that he and I had gone out together, we had gone to the zoo. While we were looking at the open pit snake exhibit...which mainly consisted of me clinging to Knockout and asking to leave and go look at the petting zoo, some guy from behind us made a snark comment to us about me needing a cry blanket...which actually wouldn't have sounded like a bad idea if he wasn't being snark about it. Anyways, Knockout had immediately turned around and grabbed the man by the collar before yelling at the man to keep his mouth closed and throwing him into the snake pit before walking away with his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

Shaking my head out of _that_ fiasco...for Fowler, I paid attention as Knockout answered me. "Fine. I'll be on my best behavior." He grumbled that but, under the circumstances, it was probably the best that I was going to get out of him. We were spending our normal 'cuddle time' to go out and do this so he wasn't exactly in the best of moods.

Once we entered the store, I sighed as almost every woman who was probably single, and some who weren't, immediately turned their heads and stared at Knockout. Instinctively, I moved closer to my mate to confirm my claim on him to these other women. One even tried to walk up but I changed sides so I was between her and my red angel. His soliform choice, though, didn't help the matter much. He was a physically fit young man in his mid twenties, while I was in my early twenties, and he had short flaming red hair and sharp red eyes that seemed to almost glow. He had the perfect white smile and I couldn't help but be possessive of him.

"You know," Knockout started with a playful smirk in his voice, "maybe I should warn you to not start anything here. I don't think Fowler would appreciate it if you got into a cat fight with all of these women here."

I huffed at that in return. He was right, of course. But, just because he was right didn't mean that I was going to be moving away from him. I stayed pretty much glued to his side until we arrived at the electronics section. Raf's computer had recently been...laid to rest...after a little misunderstanding between it and Penelope and so I had staked the claim of getting him a new laptop for his birthday. Of course, I had a feeling that I was probably gong to be the only Cybertronian...we were going to be the only Cybertronians getting him something from Earth.

Thankfully, shopping for the computer hadn't taken as long as I thought that it would and, soon, the two of us were heading toward the checkout line. Knockout seemed happy and it looked like we were going to have some of our alone time today after all.

Well...that was until I saw an area that I could not pass up looking at. "Clearance!" I suddenly squealed in delight before running over to said area.

**Knockout's 3rd P.O.V.**

Frag it! They were almost out of there. The shopping trip had actually not been so bad, until Pandimala had stopped. When she did, Knockout got a feeling that they were not going to be leaving for a while. When she yelled 'clearance' and sprinted toward an isle with yellow markers, that feeling in Knockout grew.

"But Lizzie, what about personal time?" Knockout complained.

Instead of sympathy and her leaving the isle, like he had hoped, Lizzie gave him a shooing motion while saying, "I'll only be a few minutes Kalan. Go check out and pull the car up." He then watched as she almost literally dove halfway into the shelf looking at the items that were stacked.

Shaking his head, Knockout went to the check-out lines and groaned. He was even in the fast check-out lines and he could see that he would have to wait for a while. The two people in front of him had around fifteen items each and the first of them seemed to be taking their sweet ole time. They couldn't have gone to one of the regular lanes? It took him fifteen minutes just to get to the check out. Then, the cashier couldn't figure out how to scan the computer and that took another ten minutes.

"Thanks." Knockout stated grumpily before he took the computer and walked out to his alt mode. It was already dark out and the parking lot was empty for the most part. There were only a few cars out there. Hopefully, Pandimala wouldn't be much longer. Getting into his alt mode, Knockout started his engine and put himself in reverse. But, before he could back up, one of the woman who had been in front of him stopped behind him. To himself, Knockout growled. He was very tempted to just run the lady behind him over. But, he couldn't. Pandimala wouldn't let them have their 'cuddle time' if he hit the woman. So, he simply laid back in his seat and waited. Her car was next to his and so he figured that, once she pulled out, he would be in the clear.

Of course, like everything else that solar cycle, the lady seemed to take _forever_. She only had around fifteen items but she seemed to take that amount of minutes to load them into her little Smart Car. Knockout shuddered slightly at that. He _hated_ Smart Cars. They seemed to be missing something that pristine examples of vehicle perfection such as himself seemed to have in overabundance: Power. He doubted that the puny thing would last in a crash with himself, Smokescreen, or Bumblebee.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity, the lady pulled out of her spot and drove off.

"Finally!" Knockout sighed in relief before restarting his engine and backing up.

...Big mistake.

**BOOM!**

Knockout froze as he felt his the corner of his trunk hit with something thin and metal. He could feel the metal bend out of place and could sense as each millimeter of paint left his previously perfect chassis.

Turning his sights to the Smart Car, which had paused in the parking lot for some reason, Knockout revved his engine. "_Big_ mistake!" He growled while speeding toward the woman responsible.

**Pandimala's 1st P.O.V.**

I sighed as I walked toward the front of the store. There was _nothing_ in the clearance area for me to buy. Nothing. It was really depressing. I usually bought something from there when I had the chance. But now, I was walking away empty handed. Oh well, at least Knockout would be,

A flash of shock and anger flowing through my bond with Knockout caused me to pause in my walking. What had happened? "**Knockout, are you alright?**" I asked him over our bond.

After a few more moments of anger, I received an unusually chipper answer from him. "**I'm just great dear. Unfortunately, I won't be able to pick you up from the front. See you back at the base."**

Great. That meant that he had done something reckless. "Of course he did. He is your bondmate." Plena Teo decided to comment in my helm.

Instead of getting into _that_ mental argument, I ran to the front of the store as I heard a giant explosion. Deep deep down, I was hoping that Knockout was not the one responsible for that and it was just by some coincidence that there was an explosion after he called me. Yeah, that had to be it.

"ALIEN!"

Or not.

I heard the woman before I saw her. But, once I did, I knew that Knockout had been involved. The woman looked like she had been singed on the sides and her eyes were wide with panic and fear. Yep, Knockout definitely did something.

As I walked up, the store manager calmed her down and asked, "Ma'am, can you start from the beginning and tell us what happened?"

After a few hyperventilated breaths, the woman nodded and started the tale. "Well, I had gone out to my car and put my groceries inside. Once I had packed my car, I had left my cart behind the car next to me and I had quickly started to head home. My cooking shows were on and I didn't want to miss them. Well, I got halfway out of the parking lot when the red car that was parked next to me raced in front of me and blocked my path. I was, of course, angered at that and so I got out and stormed over to the driver to ask what his problem was. But, when I got over there," She then paused and the fear in her eyes grew.

"What?" The manager asked again.

The woman looked at him before saying, "I saw that the driver seat was empty. A growl then came from the car before it turned into a giant alien. It had devil eyes and sharp teeth and it was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen!"

I internally snarled at the woman for calling _my _Knockout the 'most disgusting thing' she had ever seen. No one called my Knockout that. She just lost all sympathy with me about my bondmate attacking her. But, that didn't mean that said bondmate was off of the hook yet.

So, I figured I needed to know if 'the alien' had said anything. "Did it say anything to you?"

She turned to me and nodded before saying, "Yes! After I asked what it was, it said; "That's not important fleshbag. What is important is that you were too lazy to put your cart away and left it behind me! Look at my paint job! It's ruined! Now, from this moment onward, you are going to put away any cart that is near your car in those nice dispensers. If you don't, I'll know. And trust me,"; He then pulled out a buzz saw from his hand and held it right next to me! I thought he was going to cut me in two! Anyways, he then said; "surgery will be the least of your problems."; He then sliced my cute little Smart Car in half and then transformed his hand into a blaster before he blew up the pieces. He then looked at me with a look that would scare the devil before he said; "So you won't forget."; He then turned back into a car and drove off."

Well, that explained a lot. Shaking my head, I said, "Well, I think you were seeing things ma'am. I mean, a giant red alien? Come on that is something from those third rate Sci-Fi movies." While I said this, of course, I contacted Soundwave. "_Hey, can you change the footage of the security systems where I am. Knockout got angry again and some hysterical woman saw him. Make it so the car blew up on its own.~Pandimala."_

"_Alright. Knockout really scared that lady.~Soundwave"_

Great. If Soundwave was reacting that much to this, then I could only shudder at how Fowler and, worse..._Ultra Magnus,_ are going to react to this. They weren't nearly as calm about it. I had a feeling that I was going to be ending up with some dents in my wings and a helm ache.

The lady glared at me and said, "Why the nerve! If I wasn't about to demand to see the security footage, I would slap you right across your impertinent scrawny face."

My own temper flared at that and I was barely restraining myself from punching her lights out. It wasn't my fault that she had fragged off my bondmate. Actually, I was now very glad that my bondmate had done what he did.

The manager glanced between the two of us until he said, "Th...The security room is right this way ladies."

Our glaring eyes never left each other as we followed the manager. I swear, if I didn't have to keep myself calm to keep my true identity a secret, then I would have eviscerated this glitch a long time ago. Like, when I first heard her ranting.

Once we were in the security room, the manager talked to the guard on duty and asked him to bring up that particular parking lot footage. I barely kept the smirk off of my face as I watched. Instead of Knockout, Soundwave had made it so a trailer full of red sports cars lost its load and fell off in front of the Smart Car...which looked very ugly. The red car was leaking gas. Then, we watched as the lady started to go out and yell at the car. When she got half way to the red car, though, a truck drove by and threw out a used up cigarette. By that time, the gasoline had surrounded the lady's car. That cigarette ignited the gasoline and the first car to blow was the red one. The way it blew up made it look like it was some scary alien at first. Very clever Soundwave. I owed him an energon goodie...or twenty, after all of this was over.

The manager let out an audible sigh of relief and led us back into Wal-Mart before turning to the other lady. "It seems that your alien was just a misplaced car. The smoke inhalation must have caused you to imagine what that car said to you."

Instead of agreeing with the manager, the lady sharply turned to me, fury ingrained in her face, and got in _my_ face before saying, "It was you! You changed the security footage somehow!" The manager tried to but in at that point but the lady was on a role. "I bet you are working for the alien! Letting him bang you like some cheap hoar while you cover his tracks when he gets caught. You little bitch!"

Fury flamed inside of me when she said that. She could do many things, but insult me and my bondmate, that she would not get away with. "You pompous insect!" I growled before I let a snarl rip through my throat and I launched at her.

**30 Minutes Later**

"And I am going to stuff that purse so far up your butt that you are going to puking up dimes!" I screamed as I slammed the woman down to the ground for the hundredth time. If I had to give her some credit, it was that she had great stamina. Besides that though, she was a pitiful piece of rust infested scrap on the bottom of the scrap heap.

I would be doing more to her but the six police officers trying to hold me back, while very ineffective in keeping me back completely, did hold me back enough to make sure that I didn't kill her. "Does this chick take steroids?" One of the officers yelled as he held me back. Three more officers finally showed up and I felt the first movements of them pulling me away from the woman.

"Lizzie stop this!"

Uh-oh. I froze. While it was a voice that I really didn't want to hear, it was better then the other alternative that I was fearing. The voice, of course, belonged to Fowler.

Turning to Fowler, I was about to give a very good excuse as to my actions. Really, I had one all ready to give. But, the words caught in my throat when I saw that there was another 'human' standing next to him. The man's hair was an dark brown in color and his eyes were a hard blue. From the pristine military uniform and the broad chest...along with a glare pointed directly at me, I knew that this was Ultra Magnus. He always seemed to have large shoulders. Fragging large shoulders.

Fowler walked up to the police officers before saying, "I am special agent William Fowler of the FBI. This woman is a part of my team. I'm sorry for the trouble that this event has caused you. She is testing some experimental emotion-controlling drugs to help calm down erratic people. Unfortunately, we are now seeing the side effects. She seems to get offended much easier than she normally is."

I frowned at the story that I was a test subject for experimental drugs. They made me sound like some addict. But, I knew that I had helped make this mess so I took it, for now.

A realizing huff came from the creature that I was fighting before she said, "Hm, explains a lot. This girl is just some pill head."

"Take that back!" I snarled as I shook out of the restraining hands of the police officers and tackled the woman.

**Ultra Magnus' 3rd P.O.V.**

"The drug has also increased her strength it seems." Agent Fowler comment to the law officers.

Ultra Magnus, on his part, softly sighed, pinching the bridge of his soliform's nose and closing his eyes.. The beginning of this solar cycle had been to good to be true. No bot had been causing trouble...not even Frenzy and Rumble, and now he knew why fate had given him such a break. Because Knockout would get angry and blow up some pedestrians car and, being the faithful bondmate, Pandimala would have to get into a fight with the same woman. A fight which had just started yet again.

"You're going to pay for this!" The other woman screeched at Pandimala's soliform as the two rolled across the floor.

In returned, Pandimala snarled and slammed the woman's shoulders against the ground before saying, "Not as much as you will." The two then started to roll around again.

Seeing as Fowler, and the law officers, did not look like they were going to be stopping the two enraged women anytime this solar cycle, Ultra Magnus let out another sigh before starting to walk forward. Now, he wasn't a stupid mech. He knew that he could not come between the two women when they were entangled together. But, once the two separated, he would have a chance to take Pandimala away from the woman...before Pandimala ended up seriously hurting the human.

It took a few clicks but, finally, Pandimala's soliform kicked the woman away. Ultra Magnus had to act quick when it looked like Lizzie would jump on the woman again so, when Lizzie stood up and started to run at the down woman, Ultra Magnus swiftly stepped right in front of her before picking up the angry femme and slinging her over his right shoulder like a sack of energon crystals.

Pandimala stopped struggling immediately and he felt her place an elbow on his shoulder and he heard her slightly sigh. Guess once Pandimala was away from the object of her anger, she calmed down. Ultra Magnus stored that bit of information in the back of his processor. That might be helpful later on. As he walked past the shocked law officers and the equally shocked Agent Fowler. Guess they didn't think it could end that easily. Actually, he was surprised that it had ended that well.

"Good, carry her out of here like the criminal freak she is!" The other woman yelled.

Ultra Magnus felt Pandimala's soliform tense in anger and he tightened his grip on her just as the enraged soliform started to fight to get out of his grip. "You better sleep with both eyes open you old hag! I'll show up and beat you to a pulp when you least expect it!"

The leader of the Wreckers let off a sigh. Pandimala and Knockout, recently, had proven to be more of a challenge than even the Wrecker's were when he took command. As he walked out of the store and toward his alt mode, Pandimala's soliform still struggling to get released to go and get revenge on the human female, Ultra Magnus let out another sigh, this one tired, irritated, and annoyed.

Pandimala and Knockout were going to be banned from going to 'Wal-Mart' alone _ever_ again if he had anything to say about it.

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**Everyone: *laughing to much to talk***

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**AN: Well, I hope you all liked this. If you want other shenanigan stories like this, shoot me a request and I will see what I can do. I can't really say a whole lot about this because it was so short. But, what I can say is that I hope you will review and tell me what you think. Until then, TTYL!**


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